What is this?

I think you’ll find the real question is: what is society?

When I was a child, I bought my first — and last — Magic: The Gathering deck. I looked at all the cards and thought, ‘this is all made up; this doesn’t represent society at all.’

So now that I’m finally a cynical adult I’ve decided to reimagine the cards to match the society that is ruining our lives: the society of the elite.

I’ve used the colours from MTG and reworked them into real-world factions 👉

In the real world ‘Creatures’ become Members of Society. ‘Enchantments’ become Enhancements. ‘Instants’ are News Alerts. Etc etc don’t read too much into it.

If you’re an actual MTG player please try and remember this is just a bit of fun and I’m very aware that you can’t actually play with these and also I don’t care.

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RED: Bros who are just bro-ing down

Pre-ordering my cheeky nandos to the gym for 6am during my night out after smashing sixteen tequilas because no matter how fucked up I get I will never skip leg day

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BLACK: Radical free-market techno-fascists

How many more orphans do we need to crush before we can IPO and start 3D-printing spacecraft so we can get out of here and let the poor burn to death?

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WHITE: Morally superior puritans with too many family values

If you’re a woman please line up here for your daily vaginal purity inspection. If you’re a man, congratulations, you just won a thousand dollars

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BLUE: Transhumanists bio-hacking their way to immortality

Measuring your night-time erections is COOL and pleasuring a woman is gay, actually. I just brewed my own beer in my large intestine — jealous?

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GREEN: A government that never does anything

We’re starting an initiative to inspire those living in infrastructure deserts to paint their own bike lanes which may lead to a 0.001% uptake in cycling. The initiative will cost £500bn.

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BROWSE THE CARDS

Filter by faction colour, card type, or just look at everything at once

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